If Loving You Is All...(Separation Pt. 2)

I’ve researched, heard, and been told several times about twin flame connections, continuity circles of longevity, being equally yoked, soulmates, life partners, and how matching energy can really go the distance once you find that spark that speaks to your inner self. These things can present themselves with a happily ever after notion. However, in order to get to that moment, you have to go through relational structure (which is really the same as the five-stage story structure if you think about it) the setting, the buildup, the climax, the struggle, and the resolution. 

Relationships are not one-size-fits-all.

What one person may be able to bounce back from, may be another person’s worst nightmare. What another person can easily forgive may be the official block or burn everything that was once known. At any point of a real and actual relationship, separation can happen, and sometimes we don’t hear about it enough because everyone wants to portray happiness and sticking around.

Separation is a time of reflection.

With any reflection period, it’s good to realize the strong points and challenges. This may result in tears, smiles, going to therapy, finding your community, picking up habits, taking more time for hobbies, creating an action plan, staying busy, feeling out of it or even seeing what else is out there. 

Now, everything is not clear-cut copy and paste.

I’ve come to realize that seeing healthy relationships have not all looked the same when thinking about “always and forever” soulmates…Can we ever come to terms with seasonal love or is it still not a thing we want to admit can exist? **sigh** I’ve come to realize there’s a difference between red flags, personal preferences, and incompatibility. Sometimes our familial past can play a role too.

Who knew that generational curses weren’t just about drugs, alcohol, socio-economics, and other stigmas? When it comes to relationships, I’m okay with realizing that generational trauma can factor in as well. Sometimes we try to walk and run away from what is actually calling us to work out in our relationships. Sometimes we neglect to acknowledge that differences don't always mean a sudden end. Take the time to unveil what you know and see in order to realize what you want and need.

Your partner should never be your enemy nor your rival.

Pick your battles. Is it time to mope, plead, one-up, fight? Is it time to refocus and be at peace? A sense of your individual self, a sense of your freedom, and a sense of your purpose is needed. Also, having a daily prayer life and affirmations are a must. If you are serious about coming back together and being better for each other, then get yourself together and create personal goals. Don’t force companionship if the ish ain’t right.

Yes, the struggle can be real and keep you anxious, but find a healthy focus for yourself.

In separation, there is nothing to be forced, but whatever is yours will always be yours. There is no doubt how the universe will bring things full circle just to help us realize what is actually meant to stay and what is actually meant to go. 

Sometimes we don’t realize the compatibility until we heal from separation. This can also mean being with someone new, but whatever is meant for you will always be for you. At the right moment, what’s best will work out if you allow life and time to reveal to you what is authentically meant for you.

Learn when the love in your relationship is seasonal, intentional, hurtful, or experimental. Take the time you need during separation to be better to yourself so you can be better to others and grow.